Sunday, 28 December 2008

New Year

Resolution - As I face down 2009 with open hopes and wandering dreams, I'm a little anxious as to what this year will bring. I'm still trying to grasp my affirmations. I hope it will be a prosperous year, one full of potential. I sense a lot of fear will find my heart, when the end of my studies looms and the real world caves in on my head.

How will I deal with all the financial implications?
How will I accommodate the neccessity of finding employment?
Where will I be living come the end of May?
Am I to DARE, or not to DARE. Is that the question?

I have so much to do, and not the faintest grasp yet as to how to do it. Okay that is a lie, I can hypothesise as to what it will entail. I can put it all down in numbered headers in order to meet the expectations of a professional practice deadline. I can lay down dates as a foundation as to the path I shall walk, but as to it sinking into my frontal cortex the implications of all these plans meaning.

I am going to create an Animation.
I am going to create a damn fine Animation.
I am going to do this by May... or rather the end of April - yeah like that'll happen.

It is at this point that panic sets in. Awkward feeling at the pit of my stomach, like a hot air balloon I attempt to nudge it under my hopes and dreams. It balloons and swells in my throat, I choke on my own ambition. Where am I left? To close to the floorboard grain to see my horizon. I'm itching to return to the flight, to run against the wind of obligation and meet it head on, but I have to learn to balance.

Life / Work / Love / Art / Life

More on those thoughts later, right now I'm in Linlithgow revitalising the use of the old laptop. Once I return, I'll have access to my other art files and my graphics tablet - I'll be touching up some old work and posting it where and when I can.

If I don't post again before the turn of the worlds' axis - a Happy New Year to Everyone won't you.